PBP - Volatility and why I've been gone

I wavered between discussing volatility or vulnerability this week; had I jumped back into the PBP a week earlier I probably would have done both. But I think, given my extended absence and the reasons why, volatility is the better topic.

And oh my, have things been volatile.

In the four - five? months since I've posted regularly, Sascha has left the military, we've moved to a different state, I've gotten a job, we've gotten a new car, there's been a hurricane and a derecho, and Sascha has yet to find a new job.

When you're in the military, there's a certain amount of steadiness (yes, steadiness, amongst all the uncertainty!) that you come to expect. You know you'll get paid twice a month, you know how much that will be.

With Sascha on unemployment, and the old car shitting itself, our life pretty much lost all of its reliability.

It was about this time I realized I still had Shiva sitting in a primary place on my altar, for his destruction-for-a-purpose energies. Love you, man, but ENOUGH! I removed him, not from the altar, but from the center of it. I'm searching for stability now, and I don't think he's the way to find it.

Since doing so, I've found a job and we traded in the old car for a brand new one which should hopefully not break every time we turn around. (And they were able to wrap the old car loan into the new one; so financially it made sense.)

Volatility is just - not a pleasant experience for me. I often wear a hematite bracelet, and carry hematite worry stones, to keep myself grounded. I don't mind change, but I like to have a solid foundation to deal with that change from. My marriage is still rock-steady, and a wonderful foundation, but having lost the financial stability, things are more stressful.

We do have a few things on the horizon; a job offer for Sascha, a possible business opportunity for me, but neither of those start until January or February. So we're in a bit of a holding pattern. "Just get through the next few months, and then we'll be fine."

I've been so distracted with starting my new job - my seasonal, part-time, temporary retail job - that I don't even know what gods/goddesses/energies I should be directing my efforts toward. I should probably do some research and put a spell up on the altar.

Does anyone have any recommendations for financial spells? Or perhaps tranquility in the face of chaos spells?

Happy Samhain!

I am sincerely sorry I've left this blog abandoned for so long. Things are a-changing! My New Year's resolution is to blog six days a week here, and get back to my old schedule. Until then, however, I'm committing to one day a week. Aiming for two days a week, but I WILL be posting one day a week. I'll be making some changes to the blog and my online presence as well. Just superficial changes, I'll try not to change the content too much, unless you guys have ideas you'd like to see me address!

One of my ideas for the New Year is to have you guys send me requests for books/music to review.

I'll be picking up the Pagan Blog Project from where they are now, so look out for V this Friday.

I'm very excited to get back to this blog now that things have settled down from the move and relocating to a different state/way of living. Have a wonderful Samhain, and I look forward to talking to you all more often!

Monday News Roundup

Some of these are a little old, my apologies. We're still working on moving, I'm not sure when things will calm down enough for me to post regularly again.

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer signs legislation permitting employers to interrogate women about their birth control use

Fox News Contributor laments 'mistake' of letting women vote

A state-by-state guide to 2012's anti-choice laws so far

NARAL Pro Choice's President to step down in January

Republican Men won't let DC's female delegate speak against abortion ban in her own district

What the GOP's religion-heavy platform means for pagans

Congresswoman who was raped speaks out against the House's version of VAWA

VAWA House Bill picks up an unhelpful sponsor

Why I've been absent, take two

Well. I had composed an entry about why I've been gone, but Blogger decided in the ten minutes I'd typed it up, to log me out. (Even though I'd logged just prior...)

Anyway, long story short, Sascha and I are moving from North Carolina to Maryland at the end of May; I've been busy apartment hunting, and the next month will be a lot of going through our things and getting rid of stuff we don't need, as we're downsizing from a 3 bedroom to a 1 bedroom. I apologize for my absence, but it may continue until after the move. I miss this blog though, so I promise I'll be back!

PGP - Waiting for Godot - or how NOT to wait

Waiting for Godot is a two-act play by Samuel Beckett. It's a somewhat bizarre little play, with two main characters and three supporting character. Estragon and Vladimir are waiting at an assigned spot for Godot, who never arrives, but sends messengers to tell them he'll come tomorrow. The next day they receive another messenger, saying he'll come tomorrow. They don't know who Godot is, or why they're waiting for him, and spend the time talking nonsense, entertaining a passerby, or debating whether or not to hang themselves from the tree that is often the only prop on the stage.

I read this play in high school, and to this day if I'm waiting for something that doesn't seem like it will EVER arrive, I call it "waiting for Godot."

It's an odd little play, with odd little lines.

Estragon: Nothing to be done.
Vladimir:  I'm beginning to come round to that opinion. All my life I've tried to put it from me, saying Vladimir, be reasonable, you haven't yet tried everything. And I resumed the struggle. So there you are again.
Estragon: Am I?


How often in our lives do we find ourselves in a holding pattern, doing the same things day in and day out with no end in sight, no distraction, and only a vague "maybe it will be better someday" to keep us going forward?


I see Waiting for Godot as both a lesson in patience and a lesson in how NOT to wait. Estragon and Vladimir come to the tree every day, waiting for Godot - and the days blend into each other so seamlessly that they're not sure how long they've been waiting, or when Godot said he'd come - only that they need to be there, waiting. And sure, that's a lesson in endless patience, but surely that time could be used more productively. 


As a military wife, I've had ample time to learn patience. When my husband was deployed to Afghanistan, I could have moped around the house and let the days run together until he got home - but there are far more productive things to do. I worked. I went back to school. I meditated and prayed. I spent time with friends and family. And you know what? The time went by far quicker than it would have otherwise.


I think we get so caught up in the waiting sometimes that we forget how much TIME we are spending obsessing about the thing we are waiting for. 


Maybe that's one reason why I dislike the Christian god, or more aptly, the idea of a Rapture or End of the World or whatever. Why spend my time waiting for something that might come, or might not, and even if it is a sure thing that it WILL come, who knows WHEN it will come? I have far better things to be doing than preparing for a hypothetical. It's one thing to prepare for the future; it's another thing to prepare and wait for a future that may never come, and that is out of my control. I'd rather make plans and goals for myself, and live in the moment when I can, even when it's hard to do so.


What tricks do you have for living in the moment? Do you worry too much about the future? Is there something big that you're patiently waiting for?


Vladimir: Let us not waste our time in idle discourse! (Pause. Vehemently.) Let us do something, while we have the chance! It is not every day that we are needed. Not indeed that we personally are needed. Others would meet the case equally well, if not better. To all mankind they were addressed, those cries for help still ringing in our ears! But at this place, at this moment of time, all mankind is us, whether we like it or not. Let us make the most of it, before it is too late! Let us represent worthily for once the foul brood to which a cruel fate consigned us! What do you say? (Estragon says nothing.)

April Fool's Day Sunday

Happy Birthday, my precious little girl! Boudicca turns two years old today!

I shall also leave you with this song, by one of my favorite artists:

Gee Whillicker to Goddammit - Curse Words and Paganism

Warning: If the title wasn't clear enough, there will be curse words in this post and a lot of them!

My husband and I were talking recently about English curse words, and how the vast majority of the commonly used ones these days are monotheistic. I mean, look at this list:

Oh my god (or the internet OMG)
Dear god.
Dear Lord.
For christ's sakes. (or chrissakes)
Goddammit.
Jesus! (or Jesus Christ)

And these words are so ingrained in us - at least my husband and I - that we still commonly use them when swearing. We discussed if we should try to change our language (oh my gods!) or leave it be. Hell is easy enough to change - who knows if you're saying "Oh, Hell" or "Oh, Hel"? The husband rather liked the thought of "Jupiter's COCK!"

Ultimately we decided to just leave it be; it's kind of a private amusement to be "blaspheming" against a god we don't think exists.

Do you curse? Do you use pagan-specific curse words if you do? Was it hard to switch from traditional epithets?

Pagan Blog Project: The Fallibility of our gods

This is one thing that I actually really, really like about paganism. Our gods are FALLIBLE. Let me explain.

The Christian god is said to be omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent. (All-powerful, All-knowing, and All-present)

This has always bothered me. There's a quote attributed to Epicurus that states: "Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then He is not omnipotent. Is He able, but not willing? Then He is malevolent. Is He both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is He neither able nor willing? Then why call Him God?"


I prefer my gods - they are fallible. They lie, they get tricked, they lust, they make mistakes. Certainly, they do this less than we mortals do. But they are not omnipotent, nor omniscient. They don't pretend to be. If an omnipotent god lets the horrible things happen that happen in this world, then that's not a god I want to follow! 


I much prefer the thought of gods that guide, and change what they can, but need us to work for ourselves as well. It makes far more sense to me. 

Thursday Book Review: ....on a Rotten Day

Born on a Rotten Day: Illuminating and Coping with the Dark Side of the Zodiac
and
Love on a Rotten Day: An Astrological Survival Guide to Romance
by Hazel Dixon-Cooper

This one's a two-fer! Have you ever gotten annoyed at the books that advertise Taurus as "determined" but ignore the "stubborn and bullheaded"? Or Gemini, who is "good at communication" but doesn't mention how annoying they are when they jump around from topic to topic and expect you to keep up.

These books explore that. These are hilarious, well-written books that explore the darker side of the zodiac. They aren't the most serious books; they're designed to be fun. And to poke fun. I enjoyed both of them thoroughly - there's apparently a third, Friends on a Rotten Day: The Astrology of Friendships, but I haven't seen that one in person.

Born on a Rotten Day: Illuminating and Coping With the Dark Side of the Zodiac
Born deals with natal/sun signs. They're divided up into Elements, Qualities, and Polarities, as normal, except....these aren't your momma's categories. The elements are "Selfish", "Hardheaded", "Flighty" and "Moody." Qualities are "Bossy", "Stubborn", and "Inconsistent." The Polarities are "Aggressive" and "Emotional Manipulator." For example, instead of Taurus being a Feminine Fixed Earth sign, I'm an Emotional Manipulator, Stubborn, and Hardheaded. Well, the last two I will admit to!

The chapters on each sign are divided into the following sections:
Approach with Caution
If You Love One, Man or Woman
If You Are One - Born Rotten
It's ALL Relative - The Family
Office Party - Bitches, Snitches, and the Chronically Inert
Cant We ALL Get Along?
Quick Tips For Emergencies
A List of the Infamous and Ridiculous

I do like one of the 911 tips for Taureans: "If they go ballistic, reach for the chocolate and keep your head down."

Love On a Rotten Day: An Astrological Survival Guide to Romance
This book deals more with Love and Relationships between the signs, obviously. It's a little more detailed than just the sun signs, however; it also goes into the Moon, Mars and Venus through the signs. So the sections are as follows:

'Til Death Do Us Part (long-term relationships, this includes Catching One, Surviving One, and Keeping One)
Moonlight or Gaslight? (moon in the sign)
Mars is Afflicted (Mars in the sign)
Venus is a Nympho (Venus in the sign)
Fatal Attractions (sun sign combinations)
Scoring (more on the sun sign combinations)
A List of Famous and Infamous Lovers

Written in the same lighthearted, humorous style as Born On a Rotten Day, it nonetheless explores the more ...unsavory aspects of the signs.

Both books highly recommended!

Thursday Book Review: Goddess Spirituality Book

Goddess Spirituality Book: Rituals, Holydays and Moon Magic by Morgan, Ffiona published by Daughters of the Moon Paperback, by Ffiona Morgan

So the first thing that annoyed me about this book was the purposeful misspellings. I mean, Holydays on the cover, IN THE TITLE, first. Throughout the book we get "womyn" and "wimmin" and "womon" - pretty much anything without "men" in it. I mean, I understand some Dianic traditions feel the need to erase every instance of "men" from their worship, but really. It's how the word is spelled, get over it. /end grammar nazi

OTHER THAN THAT, heh, this was a decent book. There are many rituals, and many ritual suggestions, all throughout the book. It's really the main purpose of the book, given that the sections are as follows:
The Magical Path
Elements of Ritual
Specific Rituals
Sacred Wheel of the Year
Lunar Magic

The rituals are almost always geared towards groups, but there are a few solitary rites, and as always, you can customize them to fit your needs. I found the "Elements of Ritual" section particularly interesting; it teaches how to prepare both yourself and your space for a ritual.

Overall I'd say if you can find it for a decent price, it might be worth picking up, unless you're a grammar/spelling nazi like I am, then skip it. Reading it will just irritate you.