Monday Madness

I have, perhaps, a startling confession to make.

I don't believe in God.

I believe in gods - small g - but not God. I do not believe there is an omnipresent, omniscient, all-powerful God. My gods are flawed. They do not know everything. They can't do everything. They're not always paying attention. One of my favorite quotes describes WHY I think of my gods like this.

"Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?"
(this has been attributed to Epicurus, but there's a lot of debate over whether that's correct.)

In the wake of the last two shootings - the one in the Oregon mall, my home state! and the one in Connecticut that killed all the children - this seems like a time for this quote. A benevolent, omnipotent, omniscient God COULD NOT have allowed that to happen. I refuse to believe in a God that would.

There's also the conundrum of, if God created us, then he created evil as well and allowed it. I will not believe in such a God.

My gods are small. I view my gods as facets of the same divine force; I see no issue with praying to Brigid with one breath and Kali with the next. I believe in Pantheism - EVERYTHING is part of the divine force. In a sense, praying to Brigid is praying to myself; focusing my energy, my will, through the lens that is Brigid in order to achieve an end. When I say I hear Cerridwen calling, it not that an entity named Cerridwen is trying to get my attention; it is that I feel myself needing to transform away from the hearth and homemaker I've been and into something new.

I do believe there is a divine force. I do believe in magic. This sets me apart from atheism. But the God of monotheism just angers me.

This rambling brought to you by Facebook drama with family. (I'm in green, my mother is in black.)

Monday Madness

Yes, I'm aware Monday is the only day I've been posting the last couple of weeks. I've been working almost every day at the retail store lately. (Holiday Shopping, Joy!) There will, however, be a new Pagan Blog Project post this Friday.

That said...I'm writing again. In other places than the blog. You see, in high school I dreamed of being a writer. I loved writing. I wrote short stories, plots for longer stories, poetry...I just wrote. I wrote less and less in college until I finally stopped altogether. I can count on one hand the number of poems I've written in the last ten years.

But...I had a scene worm its way into my head one night, and refuse to leave. Once I wrote it down, two more quickly followed. Now I have a partial plot, an inkling of how magic works in this world, and three main characters. I have a full year before NaNoWriMo rolls around again; I may spend this year building scenes and plots and outlines and characters, and then next NaNoWriMo I may attempt a book.

If you had a species that was kind of a cross between a roc and a dragon - and they bonded telepathically with their riders, like so many dragons do in books - what would you call them?

I'm currently calling them "Companions" but that's also the name of the Heralds' horses in Lackey's Valdemar. So it's mostly a place holder. (It's also a bit of a side plot - the story lies with the people more than the birds.)

Monday Madness

I prayed, and I received understanding.

I called upon the divine, and Wisdom came to me.
I loved her more than scepters and thrones.
Wealth is nothing compared to Wisdom.
I cannot compare her to any jewel,
for gold is like sand compared to her,
and silver is like dull clay.
I love her more than health and beauty.
I love her more than light, 
because she is unfailingly radiant.
All good things come to me because of her, 
and from her hands come all treasures.
 - Wisdom, 7-14

One practice I've adopted from my husband and a few of our friends is finding a Word. A Word that symbolizes who you are, who you want to be - what you strive for. Your life's purpose.

My word is Wisdom. I like knowledge - I do like learning new things - but Wisdom is what I want. I don't need to know HOW, so much as WHY. I want to go back to school, but I haven't decided exactly what for. I intend to take a Psychology 101 class, a Sociology 101 class, and a Philosophy 101 class. I want to know WHY people do things the way they do, WHY the world is the way it is. I took a Introduction to Ethics course once, and had an amazing time in it. Philosophy is really interesting to me. I think those three classes, as well as possibly a Counseling class, will tell me what exactly it is that I want to do. Besides strive for Wisdom.

In the meantime I read as much as I possibly can, about a wide variety of topics. I'm currently having a lot of fun watching the videos on The Vlog Brothers' Crash Course channel. I've also enjoyed a lot of the videos at The Khan Academy, and worked through a lot of their math course. Reddit and Google+ provide me with a lot of news and current events. (Pick your subreddits and circles carefully, and those sites can be incredibly educational!)

Unfortunately, working retail this holiday season is infringing upon my time spent seeking Wisdom. It's also infringing on my time spent writing entries for this blog, as you've probably noticed, and I apologize sincerely! I have at least been able to keep my commitment of one entry a week; and after the New Year I should be able to get back to daily blogging.

I shall end this blog with two questions for you all.

Do you have a Word?
What are your favorite resources in the search for Wisdom?

Monday Madness

This is actually a little more like Friday Madness, or Thursday Madness, since Thanksgiving and Black Friday are what this entry is about.

I have to work on Thanksgiving. And not just Thanksgiving morning; I have to work from 4 pm to 11 pm. Which means the Thanksgiving Dinner plans I had are now "Thanksgiving Lunch" plans, and I'm very, VERY grateful to my hostess for changing her schedule for me.

So back to this working on Thanksgiving thing. I work in retail. I always have. I've worked in various stores, and I've never had to work on Thanksgiving before. The earliest I've had to go in was 4 am on Black Friday. Which sucked, but I understood. That company is opening at midnight this year. Another company I used to work for is opening at 9 pm Thanksgiving night. Other companies are opening at 8 pm, or earlier. The company I currently work for is open 4 pm to 11 pm on Thanksgiving Day, and opening again at 7 am Black Friday.

WHY?! Why do companies do this to their workers? Thanksgiving is listed as a Federal Holiday, but soon it will only be Federal Employees that get the day off. Retail almost never pays Holiday Pay. Only full time workers get that, and those are few and far between in the retail business. So while full-time people, federal workers, and union workers all get paid to NOT work on Thanksgiving, we get paid time-and-a-half TO work. Which means, in comparison, we really only get paid half-wages. If you go off the basis of people getting Holiday Pay. Half-wages to work on Thanksgiving.

Because consumers will come out to the sales. Everyone complains about what this does to workers - but they still go shop the sales. If you want this to stop, it begins with you. YOU must stop shopping Thanksgiving Day and Black Friday. YOU have to vote with your wallet, and stop supporting these practices. Unless the consumer - YOU - stops giving in to the marketing, corporations will continue to open their stores earlier and earlier, and make their employees miss more and more of their "holiday", to rake in the sales.

We talk about the over-commercialization of Christmas. It's now branching into Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is no longer a time to enjoy good food with your family, but a time to pig out until it's time to go to the stores and shop. Or a day to sneak out of dinner and go visit the sales. I would really like to be able to spend Thanksgiving dinner with the people I love, but instead my husband will be home alone and I will be catering to shoppers. Shoppers who will probably wish me Happy Thanksgiving, and ask "why are you working on Thanksgiving?" not understanding that it's because THEY ARE SHOPPING.

So please. From one person to another. (Because though I work retail, I AM STILL A PERSON.) If you know someone who works retail, or if you have ever worked retail yourself - skip shopping on Thanksgiving. Skip Black Friday. Send a message to retailers that this has gone far enough. You can wait eight hours to get that half price TV or that blouse for 70% off. You don't need craft supplies while your family is eating Thanksgiving dinner. Tell retailers you'd like to wait and get a little bit of sleep. We employees will thank you for it.