Book Review: How to Spot a Bastard by His Sun Sign

How to Spot a Bastard by His Star Sign: The Ultimate Horrorscope

So - I'm not going to pull any punches here. This is a terrible book. It's mean-spirited. If it's satire, it's not very funny. If you took the fictional, awful, hateful, stereotypical, man-hating, bitter feminist and asked for a book on astrology and why men suck, this is what you'd expect to get.

There are no positive sides of men in this book. None. It is completely one-sided. I think it's a terrible book to even have out there; things like this are what people point to and say "See? Feminists hate men!"

The chapters are organized as follows:
"The [sign] bastard" (3-4 page description that's painful to read)
"How to spot one" (2 sentence stereotype)
"Where to find one" (2 sentences)
"How to intrigue one" (short paragraph)
"The first date" (shorter paragraph)
"When to do the deed" (two sentences)
"When to pop the question" (never. It's always some version of never)
"If he dumps you" (two sentences saying you're better off)
"If you dump him" (two sentences also saying you're better off)

Don't waste your money on this book.

Thursday Book Review: ....on a Rotten Day

Born on a Rotten Day: Illuminating and Coping with the Dark Side of the Zodiac
and
Love on a Rotten Day: An Astrological Survival Guide to Romance
by Hazel Dixon-Cooper

This one's a two-fer! Have you ever gotten annoyed at the books that advertise Taurus as "determined" but ignore the "stubborn and bullheaded"? Or Gemini, who is "good at communication" but doesn't mention how annoying they are when they jump around from topic to topic and expect you to keep up.

These books explore that. These are hilarious, well-written books that explore the darker side of the zodiac. They aren't the most serious books; they're designed to be fun. And to poke fun. I enjoyed both of them thoroughly - there's apparently a third, Friends on a Rotten Day: The Astrology of Friendships, but I haven't seen that one in person.

Born on a Rotten Day: Illuminating and Coping With the Dark Side of the Zodiac
Born deals with natal/sun signs. They're divided up into Elements, Qualities, and Polarities, as normal, except....these aren't your momma's categories. The elements are "Selfish", "Hardheaded", "Flighty" and "Moody." Qualities are "Bossy", "Stubborn", and "Inconsistent." The Polarities are "Aggressive" and "Emotional Manipulator." For example, instead of Taurus being a Feminine Fixed Earth sign, I'm an Emotional Manipulator, Stubborn, and Hardheaded. Well, the last two I will admit to!

The chapters on each sign are divided into the following sections:
Approach with Caution
If You Love One, Man or Woman
If You Are One - Born Rotten
It's ALL Relative - The Family
Office Party - Bitches, Snitches, and the Chronically Inert
Cant We ALL Get Along?
Quick Tips For Emergencies
A List of the Infamous and Ridiculous

I do like one of the 911 tips for Taureans: "If they go ballistic, reach for the chocolate and keep your head down."

Love On a Rotten Day: An Astrological Survival Guide to Romance
This book deals more with Love and Relationships between the signs, obviously. It's a little more detailed than just the sun signs, however; it also goes into the Moon, Mars and Venus through the signs. So the sections are as follows:

'Til Death Do Us Part (long-term relationships, this includes Catching One, Surviving One, and Keeping One)
Moonlight or Gaslight? (moon in the sign)
Mars is Afflicted (Mars in the sign)
Venus is a Nympho (Venus in the sign)
Fatal Attractions (sun sign combinations)
Scoring (more on the sun sign combinations)
A List of Famous and Infamous Lovers

Written in the same lighthearted, humorous style as Born On a Rotten Day, it nonetheless explores the more ...unsavory aspects of the signs.

Both books highly recommended!

Thursday Book Review: Parker's Astrology

Parkers' Astrology New Edition by Julia & Derek Parker, by Julia Parker and Derek Parker

I've been eyeing this book for some time now, so when I found it for 9 bucks at my local used book store, I snapped it up.

And let me say - I'm in love. This book is AMAZING. Most books have charts to let you figure out what signs various planets are in, and what your rising sign is and such - this book teaches you how to draw a chart from SCRATCH. Like, how to calculate not only what your rising sign IS, but what degree it is, and what degree all the planets are in the houses and signs and OMG. I'll be breaking out a calculator in the next few days and drawing up my chart. I have my chart from Astrodienst, but to be able to draw my own? All by myself? This is AWESOME. There's a really nice introductory section that covers signs and planets and houses, then the calculation section, and then the back has ALL the aspects, and just SO MUCH DETAIL. I feel like I've found an Astrology textbook.

Seriously, if you want to draw charts, or if you want to investigate astrology much at all beyond "tee hee my sun sign!" GET THIS BOOK. You will NOT regret it, I promise!

Book Review: Ruling Planets

Ruling Planets by Christopher Renstrom

This book looks at an astrological viewpoint not enough considered; instead of your sun sign, it looks at the planet that rules your sun sign, and what sign that planet was in at your birth. So in my case, I am a Taurus. Venus rules Taurus, and Venus was in Aries when I was born. So I am a Child of Venus in Aries. My husband is a Child of the Moon in Aquarius.

Charts are included in the book, so it's easy to find out what sun sign you are (if you don't know) and what sign your ruling planet was in when you were born. It's a beautiful book, with glossy pages and colorful illustrations and photographs.

This is not an essential book for astrology lovers, but it is a neat, and somewhat unique, take on things.

Book Review: Sex Signs

Sex Signs, by Judith Bennett

Now, before you go "oh, one of THOSE Astrology books" just hang on a minute! This was a SURPRISINGLY good book. It's not about how to seduce each sign, or how the signs work in concert in romantic relationships. This book dissects how each sign reacts in love, and speaking as a Taurus? She's got me down to a T. And it's not just a quick blurb on each sign, either! My copy seems to be an older version than the one I've linked, but the section on Taurus alone is 40 pages long. And almost all of it describes me perfectly.

Each sign is broken down into sections. First is a checklist of personality traits. I fit 30 of the 35 listed for Taurus. Next up is "General Traits and Background" followed by three to four paragraphs on EVERY SINGLE ONE of those 35 personality traits initially listed! Things like "habit-bound" and "sensuous" and "persistent" and "humble." After the traits are out of the way, we move into a couple pages on Taurus Relationships. Then about a page on Childhood. We get about three pages on "How the Taurus Woman Relates: Lovers and Other Intimates" followed by "What Kind of Man She Needs" and "Advice to the Man in her Life." Next is five pages on her sexuality, including a subheading of Early Sexual Experiences. Then we have "Love and Sex," "What Kind of Lover She Needs," "What She Needs to Learn" and "Taurus Anger." Then it goes into "Taurus Lifestyles" with subheadings of "Monogamy and Non-monogamy" and "Alternative Lifestyles" which include menage a trois, open marriages, intimate networks, and lesbian/bisexual. The last page or so sums up the sun sign.

The kind of detail that goes into dissecting each sign is just amazing. I wish there was a similar book for the signs as they relate to men, as this book is very much the feminine side of each sign. But if there is, I haven't found it yet. Overall, AMAZING book. Very well put together, very insightful, and at least for me and Taurus, spot on.